Numb
by Little Soldier Mine
Summary: Just a random Brain Baby that was born when I was listening to Numb by Linkin Park. Have you ever wondered what Pietro's thoughts on his father are? One-Shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything other than my random musing thoughts.

A/N: This is just some random brain baby that came to me late last night. I was listening to the song and thought- Woah! I could write a random songfic about Pietro with this!!- So I did. I wrote this in hopes that maybe getting something up will help me with my writers block on my other stories. Poor little stories, being ignored for so long. Oh! And if Pietro is overly ooc, just ignore it, this is just a random brain baby. I made a lot of the things up, so I highly doubt any of it is right. Alright, long A/N over now. Enjoy!

Numb- Linkin Park

I wish I had the guts to tell you this to your face. But even me, your own son, am scared of you. I don't see you as a father. You never gave me a reason to. I wish I could tell you that I'm tired of being one of your stupid cronies. I feel like I'm drowning. Drowning in your sea of darkness, lies, and hatred. I don't hate humans. I don't think they should die. Yeah we have powers, but think about it, why should we hate them just for not having them? I'm tired of you wanting me to fight in your stupid war. I don't want to be like you. I feel like you're trying to control me. I just figured something out. You've been molding me into your weapon. Cause that's all I am to you. A weapon. What do you want from me? Are you trying to mold and brainwash me so that one day I can rise and be just like you? A powerful, supreme mutant ruler? Why can't you be happy with me just being your son? Why does everything I do have to be a disappointment to you?

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_Feeling so faithless lost under the surface_

_Don't know what you're expecting of me_

_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

I feel numb inside. I know a lot more than you give me credit for, _father_. I'm smarter than you think. But I'm tired of trying to make you see that. I'm aware of a lot more things than you know. And you know what? I don't ever want to be like you. I want to be free. I want to run away from all of this. From you. Run until I get as far away from you as possible.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

Why didn't you ever let me just be a kid? You had to ship me off to the Maximoff's once I turned seven. I hated them. I really did. They just took me in because you paid them off. I could never be like normal kids. But we all know that, with me being a mutant. But even when I pretended I was a human child living with human parents that loved me, the Maximoff's reminded me that that was not true. They wanted perfection from their 'little gifted adopted boy'. I had to have the best grades, get on the basketball team, make honor roll. But they never just loved me. They said that if I was to live under their roof, I had to earn it. The money you paid them wasn't good enough for them, they said that if they had to live with a mutant, I might as well be a well disciplined one. They would have made me get a job, but there are laws against child labor that I bet made them think twice about it. I never had a childhood. I never played with other kids my age in the park. I never had a birthday party or a sleep-over. I never went to a ball game with my dad. Dad. Ha. I would never use that word for you. I can't even call you father unless it's just you and me. And even then, you look at me with that cold look full of hatred. It's always 'Magneto' or 'sir'. You've always made you sure I never got too far from your reach. Making sure you could control me. Whenever you got your hands on me it was to train to make me another of your stupid weapons. But I was never good enough for you; strong enough, heartless enough. I bet you're disappointed in me, huh? I know you are. I can see it in the way you look at me. With disgust clear in you eyes. I never became what you wanted me to. You always remind me. You point out all of the things I do wrong, which seems to be _everything _I do. You tell me how much of a failure I am. A failure. And all I can do is stand there and take it. Drowning in my own depression, my own darkness. I hate every moment I spend under your control. I'm wasting my life away. I feel like if I spend another second here, I'll go insane. I need to be free from you.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me_

_Holding too tightly afraid to lose control_

_Cause everything that you thought I would be_

_Has fallen apart right in front of you_

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

_And every second I waste is more than I can take_

I'm numb. Mentally and physically. I can't even feel it when you 'discipline' me for being a failure. I guess that's a good thing. One good thing, heh. I'm a pathetic excuse for a mutant. A worthless excuse and waste of life. Worthless of being called your son. Isn't that what you tell me every day when I have to go to your office? Isn't that what you've driven into my head since as long as I can remember? I'm losing myself. I don't want to be like you.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

They X-geeks once told me I was going to be just like you. They told me I was well on my way. Like father, like son. Am I going to end up like you? Power hungry and wanting to get the ultimate revenge? I don't even know. I hope not. But what if I do? I mean, the guys always say I'm arrogant. I hope with all my being I don't become you. I don't want to fail. You're going to fail, you know that, right? You can't possibly win such a useless and ridiculous war. Sometimes I wonder. Was there somebody who was disappointed in you? Your mother? Your father? Somebody? Is that why you treat me the way you do?

_And I know_

_I may end up failing too_

_But I know_

_You were just like me with someone disappointed in you_

I hate feeling like this. Numb. Cold. I've grown up too fast. Being so grown up is tiring. I wish I could go back and at least have one day where I could spend it just being a normal kid. One day. I've seen too much. I know too much. Having Magneto as a father does that to you. I had to grow up fast or not make it. If I didn't grow up when I did you would have left me behind. You threatened to do it enough times to make me believe you. When I was six, you left me all alone in Alaska for a week once as a warning. You told me I was expendable. I never tried to go against your word ever again. Who would? Up until that moment I believed that maybe, somewhere deep inside your heart, you loved me. I was wrong. And I learned that the hard way. Once upon a time, I was like all kids. I wanted to grow up to be like my daddy. That changed when I was six. Good age to grow up and face the real world, huh?

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

I don't want to be numb anymore. I hate not being able to feel. I hate you. I don't want to be another one of your stupid weapons. I don't want to be your tool anymore. I just want to run away from you. I want to run forever and never stop until I reach the end of the world. Maybe there I can be free form you. Freedom. A myth I never let myself believe in. I don't want to be numb anymore. I want to believe in freedom. I want to be my own person. I want to know I have the power to make my own decisions. I want to be able to run just for the hell of it. I want to be able to spend a day just hanging out with my friends, my first and only friends, and just do nothing. Lance, Todd, and Fred. They helped to make me lose some of the numbness in my heart. I never tell them, but they mean the world to me. Who knew I would get so close to them? We were just a random bunch of guys thrown together one day. They care about me more than you ever will. I hate you. I hate you and I will _never_ be like you. Ever. Why can't I say that to your face? Why? Oh. That's right. Because I'm afraid of you. Afraid you'll do to me what you do to your other expendable tools. You've told me I am one remember? So if I want to live, I can't tell you. But someday I will. I won't be numb anymore. I'll be free to run. And I _will_ run.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there_

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

A/N: Alrighty! I hope it wasn't too dissapointing. Please leave a comment with your thoughts on the story. Let me know if you liked it and you think I should try writing some more. I would love to know your thoughts on what you think!


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